Mediocrity

I recently read a book entitled Blindspot. It is about the biases we carry for or against groups of people. Harvard devised tests called the Implicit Association Tests. They can be found here: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ They include simplistic tools to determine bias concerning age, gender, race, religion, sexuality, and more. While I am unsure of the reliability and validity of these tests I enjoyed taking several of them. I trust the results for one reason: They seem to reflect who I am as a person.

You see, I am mediocre at best. My sister is the kind of person who would give you the shirt off of her back if it was the last shirt she had. She has this strong sense of empathy. She works elderly patients, and it suits her well. She also used to work with premature babies. By her very nature she is giving. My oldest brother was an anomaly. He was an excellent athlete who played football and bent his face mask every game in high school. He went on to join the military and excelled as a Special Operator and gunner on the MH 53 helicopter. Matt was an interrogator. He was a leader who put together a squadron in Afghanistan to fight the Taliban, albeit he pretended to be a General to gain their respect. My youngest brother is very intelligent. He has this philosophical mind that can bend your thinking. He seems to know about everything from music, which he is also very gifted, to theories and techniques of counseling. He knew every dinosaur by the age of 5 probably and could draw them almost as if you were looking at a picture. He must operate from both the left (analytical) and right side (creative) of his brain at all times. 

My mediocrity comes in here: I am empathetic. I was an athlete. I am smart. I am not at the top of my class in any of those areas the way my siblings are. Maybe I shouldn't compare. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself. But I am. I lack something. Kindness toward myself. I see myself as a sum of parts rather than a person.

What the Implicit Association Tests reflected was a part of me that I do excel at. I love all people equally. In these tests you can have a strong automatic preference for a group, a moderate automatic preference, a slight automatic preference or no automatic preference. I fell within the slight to no automatic preference in all but one test that I took. I am kind and love all people equally. I see everyone as a person, unique and loved by God, all the same.