Forget the Mistake. Remember the Lesson.
I have watched and laughed at this video many times since first discovering it some time ago. I immediately thought of it when trying to think of a way to express how my 2020 intention has gone. Courage was my intention for 2020, but falling flat on my face while I fearfully tried to avoid the mess sums up the year for me. While doing my personal "year in review" reflections, I had some intense feelings: Pain (general emotional pain - specifics are below), shame, and powerlessness. I have several self-destructive behaviors, but the one indicative of the most pain, shame, and powerlessness in my life is self-harm. On April 1, 2019 I began logging the number of times I engaged in self-destructive behaviors. In the 275 days that I logged for the year, I used self-harm as a negative coping strategy 19 times. That was 7% of the days logged; incredible progress when I think back over the years. In 2020, during the same time period, I used self-harm as a negative coping strategy 43