Journey

While I was in the hospital, I thought about three different responses that people had in specific situations. I wrote about these responses in a journal given to me by the staff in the hospital and decided to share. 1. Listen to what someone is asking for and provide it. And get to know someone well enough to know what may help. My brother has been gone almost two years. Admittedly, I have not quite dealt with the agony despite trying to work through some of the thoughts and feelings I do have about him and myself. About two months ago, my phone was ringing about 15 feet away from me. My husband told me my brother was on the phone. I asked, "which one" and immediately began sobbing. A similar incident happened one morning while I was in the hospital. Often I would take the opportunity to talk with my husband around 7:00 am or 7:30 am because most of the other patients were sedated with medications. On this particular morning, I was talking with Tim when he told me h...

My brother and I cut down a tree that had potential to fall and damage the shed and barn. We cut, split, and stacked the logs but left the brush in a large pile in the yard. Because it was green wood and brush, my brother, who was very intelligent but rather carefree and fearless, doused it in gasoline. He was standing about five feet away when he lit the small cardboard match. A deafening boom was heard, and the ground shook. I looked over at my brother, and he was laying on the ground about 15 feet away with singed arm hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows. One tiny match caused an instant, blazing fire. On another occasion, I had collected brush from around the farm in an effort to clean up the apple and apricot orchards. It was dry brush; perfect for a family campfire. A little newspaper at the bottom of the twigs and larger sticks and limbs at the top made for the perfect recipe. My brother struck the match, threw it at the newspaper, and the fire began growing steadily until it w...

There are two very important people responsible for the discovery of Kevin on Unit A4. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy. Karl spent much of his time throughout the day sleeping. He did not sleep well at night and struggled tremendously to have clear thoughts that were not ruminating. He was anxious while awake, and he did not appear to be able to focus, probably because of the cloudy thoughts. Because of his need for sleep, some people did not know him well. Some of the other patients did not know his name. For those of us who were able to get to know him, he was very clearly an adventurous and creative young man. Each morning, we were asked to choose a goal to accomplish during the day. On one particular day, he chose a goal to think about something on his bucket list. In the evening, his answer produced quite a discussion. Karl would like to hop a train from Pennsylvania to California. He has no intention to buy a ticket. He wants to jump on the Unio...