I Failed
Photo Credit: Alexander Krivitsky, Unsplash I've been thinking about failure a lot lately. More specifically, I have been thinking about how I am a failure. Does anyone remember my run-in with Cognitive Processing Therapy in late 2019? I do. I made it to the halfway mark in the process and had to call it because I couldn't change the way I was thinking; TKO. CPT is a sub-type of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and is typically a great form of therapy for people dealing with cognitive dissonance. You either learn to change your thoughts, or you learn to change your actions. Neither felt possible to me because I was convinced that I was at fault for the trauma I was trying to process. I couldn't refute my own arguments even when they made no logical sense to others. Truthfully, it wasn't just that I felt responsible for the trauma. I couldn't quite pinpoint what I felt, or rather what I thought, in a way that I could communicate fully. Either way, trauma won, and I lost. I